Modi-Saudagar ya Jadogar?

Modi magic worked for the third time. Hope it is good answer to whoever called him "Maut ka Saudagar". His first SMS was the perfect description "I am CM and always be the CM. For me CM means Common Man"

It was a very touching sight when he spoke to his supports y'day. He said "I won b'cause of u all. This victory belongs to u all". On the issue that Modi is now bigger than the party, his reply was very emotional. He said,"Those who say I have become bigger than the party, does not know about the history of the party."

At this point he got so emotional that for few seconds he was not able to speak. He controlled himself and then said,"Can ever a child become bigger than his Mother?." It said it all.....

Doubts..

I've some doubts.. Can u please clarify me..

1. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought)

2. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking)

3. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)

4. Can you cry under water? (let me try)

5. Why do people say, "you've been working like adog" when dogs just sitaround all day? (I think they meant something else)

6. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows)

7. Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)

8. Can you get cornered in a round room? (by oneseyes)

9. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stayand watch)

10. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oilis made from vegetables,then what is baby oil made from? (No comments)

11. What should one call a male ladybird? (Nocomments)

12. If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they rememberthat they forgot? (can somebody help )

13. Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)

14. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it)

15. If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be ! Able to hear it? (got to think scientifically)

16. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

17. Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? (very nice)

18. Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?

19. If drink & drive is not allowed why the hell they have parking in Bars?

Love at first sight/first love

When you like someone, he/she is the most imp person for u in life. Tragedy strikes when u come to know tht u are not the most imp for her/him; more worse that u r of least imp.

The recent incident of Mumbai involving avinash of Orissa and moon das of Kolkata is an example

Remember always “a person may be with u like shadow, but shadow also leaves u as soon as sun sets or it is cloudy. Shadow will be with you only on sunny days”

what a call?!

Y'day a funny(?) piece of news in TOI caught my attention.

"A 16 yr old in US of A, posing as President of Iceland,called white house and after the line was transferred to 3-4 ppl, he finally spoke secretary of President Bush and finally got an appointment for "phone meeting" the next evening.But some how the staff smelled foul and he was taken away by the police from his place before the scheduled call"

This incident raises a point - Is it so easy to do such a thing?

Also I wonder what would have happened,had the boy not been arrested?

I think- after talking to President Bush, in the end he might have said "i am not what u think"- hang the phone up and disappeared; never to be found!

Readers r requested to imagin n reply as comment to this post

Do Not...

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

-Mary Elizabeth Frye (1904-2004).

हिंसा कि पाठशाला?

कल अख़बार उठाया तो फ्रंट पेज कि khabar ने दिल dahla दिया। "gurgaon school mein गोली चली"- ये क्या? गोली का school से क्या vasta?

हो सकता है कुछ हे दिनों mein ये भी एक choti si ghatna मान के bhula di जाये- NITHARI भी शायद bhula दी गयी। paar ये ghatna कुछ sawal jaroor poochti है।

हमारे yuva pidhi किस और ja रही है? kon zimedar है? बाल मान mein इतनी हिंसा kyun?

इन sawalon का jawab jinti zaldi koj लिया jay, उतना acha।

Logic

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year.
I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York. My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden (?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be
your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

Here's a reply from a Wall Street Financial trader:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of financial strategies, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term – same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased". Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do
contact me…
signed,
A Wall Street Big Firm Trader

Leadership Quality

Heard Dr.Kalam “Frankly Speaking” on TIMES NOW on Sunday 04.11.07. What he said in reply to the question by Arnab Goswami “What is Leadership quality” is simple awesome.

Dr.Kalam replied - Let me explain with the help an example- I think leadership quality is what I had seen in my guru “Dr. Satish Dhawan”- It was year 1979; November....

The first launch of SLV-3 failed of which I was the Project Director, responsible for everything. Instead of putting satellite in space it fall down in Bay of Bengal. There was huge criticism in media; 20 crores put in Bay of Bengal etc etc. Dr. Satish Dhawan told me; “I have to address a press meet, u come along”.

In the press meet he said, “Yes I accept it was a failure. I still thank all my team members for putting in their best. Give us an year’s time and v will show”. I (Dr.Kalam) was retained as Project Director.

Next year the launch was successful and there was huge appreciation in the media. Again there was time for a press meet and this time Dr. Satish Dhawan told me; “U address the press meet”

Then Dr.Kalam told Arnab Goswami; see this is what I say leadership quality, “a leader takes the responsibility of failure, but let his followers taste the success”

JAB WE MET

Saw what happened JAB they MET (!) last week. It is an awesome movie..a must see for all. After VEER-ZAARA may be this movie i will like to see once more (what i want to say is tht i generally don't see any movie twice if it does not touches my heart :P)

This film has all...a good story, good acting (kareena in particular), good music (really liked "ye ishq hai..."-they way it is picturised) etc etc...

following couple of dialogues says all abt LIFE (which this blog is all abt):-
Shahid to Kareena - "life mein kabhi serious bhi hona padta hai"(one has to be serious in life at times)
Kareena to Shahid- "tum to life mein bhaut serious ho, tumhe kya mila?"(u r handling ur life very seriously, what u were able to take from life?)
.........

What women want

What women want...read on.....

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a
neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was
moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long
as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a
year to figure out the answer and, If after a year, he still had no answer, he
would be put to death. The question was: What do women really want? Such a
question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man,
And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query.
But, since it was better than death,

He accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's
end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone:
The princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He
spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory
answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch,
For only she would have the answer.
But the price would be high as the witch was famous through out the kingdom
for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to
talk to the witch.
She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to
her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot,
The most noble of the Knights of the Round Table,
And Arthur's closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified.
She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth,
Smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.
He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He
refused to force his friend to marry her and
endure such a terrible burden,
But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.
He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's
life.
And the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered.
Arthur's question thus: "What a woman really wants?"
She said, "Is to be in charge of her own life."
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great
truth.
And that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was.
The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom.
And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and,
Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the
bedroom.
But, what a sight awaited him.
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the
bed.
The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she
appeared
as a witch,
She would henceforth be her horrible and deformed self only half
the time.
And the beautiful maiden the other half.
"Which would you prefer? She asked him.
"Beautiful during the day ... or at night?"
Lancelot pondered the predicament.
During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his
friends,
But at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!
Or,
Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day?
But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments
with?
*


(If you are a man reading this...) What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this ) What would YOUR MAN'S choice
be?
What Lancelot chose, is given below:
BUT... make YOUR choice before you scroll down below... OKAY?

*
*

Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his
question,
He said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all
the time.
Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own
life.
Now... what is the moral to this story?

..

The moral is...
1) There is witch in every woman no matter how beautiful she is!
2) If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to
get ugly.

So, always remember:

IT'S EITHER "HER WAY" OR IT'S "NO WAY" !!!

That one minute - Too Good....

Once a smart Sales Executive and His Manager were traveling towards Ooty in a train.

Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her grand ma.

With in some time, Eye-Eye interactions started between Our S/W engineer & that girl.

After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very dark.

Suddenly, every body heard a Kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping.

Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.

Grand ma thought that," The Guy is a rogue; how dare he is?

He has kissed my grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine;

she immediately slapped that guy."

Manager thought that,

"I can't believe that this guy has kissed that girl!

But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake"

That girl thought that,"I feel happy, when that guy kissed me,

but I feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him".

Finally, do u know what our clever Sales Executive thought?

"This one minute in my life is wonderful, It hardly comes...because,

at a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my Boss."

Continual Improvement

There is always scope of Improvement, not only at workplace, but in all spheres of life. Continual Improvement differs from the Continuous Improvement in the way that in case of Continual, improvement takes place from the previously achieved status. i.e. it is like cumulative curve. Now at workplace as all organisations strive for improvement, what employees want or do? It is seen that employees can be distinctly classified into three major categories;

firstly; which want improvement

secondly; which want the way things are

lastly; the ones which want improvement but are clueless about what to do

there can be further sub-categories and things can more complex depending on how the office politics play role

Life is like Coffee

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. The conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and in life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:

"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

"What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and were eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee and the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and do not change the quality of Life. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided. So, don't let the cups drive you ... enjoy the coffee instead."

About Places Visited

This post is all about the major places Categorywise (category means visited etc) and citywise. Will add details later

I. Resided
01. JABALPUR
02. JAGDALPUR
03. PUNE
04. MUMBAI
05. GANGTOK
06. KOLKATA
II. Visited
II.a. India
01. BANGALORE
02. VIZAG
03. CHENNAI
04. LUCKNOW
05. AHEMDABAD
06. ANAND
07. DARJEELING
08. SHIMLA
09. KODAIKANAL
10. KANYAKUMARI
11. CHANDIGARH
12. JAIPUR
13. DELHI
II.b. Abroad
01. BHUTAN

Healthy Life

Tips for Healthy Living (on the lighter side, though...!)

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it, don't waste them away on exercise. Everything wears out eventually, speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: If I stop smoking, will I live longer?

A: Nope. Smoking is a sign of individual expression and peace of mind. If you stop, you'll probably stress yourself to death in record time.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.

Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.

Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?

A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables.

As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three

categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is 1 to 1. If you have 2 bodies, your ratio is 2 to 1, etc.

Q: What are advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain = Good.

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated with it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?

A: Thicker gravy.

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had.

Proverbs to a Healthier Life

If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Aaj ki taaza khabar!

Daily dose of Headlines etc. (something of Interest) and its analysis- don't forget to add your comment mentioning the date of headline to which that particular comment pertains!

of 14.10.2007
As an avid viewer of cricket matches, i feel the Indian cricket is at all time low.
v have already lost current series 4-1 with Aussies with only one more ODI left. They had been better in all deptts of cricket, is thr any doubt still left.....?

of 26.09.2007

Headlines? since 25th morning there is no other news other that Dhoni ! Pick up any newspaper, turn to any page, he is there! Switch to any news channel he is there! Yesterday his he and his team came back and were felicitated in Mumbai. New channels got a new topic-Y players were seated in the second row and unworthy politicians in the front row; overshadowing them? any news channel I switched to was busy in this analysis only.

Another related story said hockey players being any on y they r not given the same treatment when they win-they showed their anger by playing cricket with hockey sticks(!)

Yet another related story was Pakistani captain thanking Muslims of the world...

Good Quotes

Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished.
-- Leslie Nielsen

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
-- Jerome K Jerome (Three Men in a Boat, 1889)

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
-- Robert Frost

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.
-- Robert Frost

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

-- Charles Lamb

The first sign of a nervous breakdown is when you start thinking your work is terribly important.
-- Milo Bloom

It's a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can't eat for eight hours; he can't drink for eight hours; he can't make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.
-- William Faulkner

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
-- Jimmy Durante

The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.
-- Robert Frost

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
-- Will Rogers

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
- Sacha Guitry

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- HL Mencken

Beliefs are what divide people. Doubt unites them.
- Peter Ustinov

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
- Albert Einstein

The point of quotations is that one can use another's words to be insulting.
- Amanda Cross

Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.
- Judith Martin

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep...
- Robert Frost

The years teach much that the days never know.
- Emerson

Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.
- Dave Gardner

We do not see things as they are; we see things as we are.
- Talmud

The best thing about failure is that it keeps you humble.
- Alan Ball, writer of American Beauty

The spirit of Fight belongs to the genius of Life.
- Rabindranath Tagore

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
- Henry David Thoreau

We always love those who admire us, and we do not always love those whom we admire.
- St. Augustine

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
- Steven Wright

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. - Laurence J. Peter

There is something positive in everything. Even a stopped watch is right twice a day.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody is there to appreciate it.

- Franklin P. Jones

Always tell the truth. Even if you have to make it up.

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook. ~Groucho Marx

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. ~Helen Rowland

I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am. ~Joseph Baretti, quoted by James Boswell, 1766, popularly misattributed to Samuel Johnson

Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that's right is to get by, and the only thing that's wrong is to get caught. ~J.C. Watts

Character is much easier kept than recovered. ~Thomas Paine

One does evil enough when one does nothing good. ~German Proverb

Don't try to be different. Just be good. To be good is different enough. ~Arthur Freed

Are right and wrong convertible terms, dependant upon popular opinion? ~William Lloyd Garrison

The right to do something does not mean that doing it is right. ~William Safire

Many of us believe that wrongs aren't wrong if it's done by nice people like ourselves. ~Author Unknown

Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

The great thought, the great concern, the great anxiety of men is to restrict, as much as possible, the limits of their own responsibility. ~Giosué Borsi

Some people have so much respect for their superiors they have none left for themselves. ~Peter McArthur

Begin each day as if it were on purpose

Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. ~Mark Twain

It's all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back. ~Mick Jagger

We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us. ~Author Unknown

Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work. ~John G. Pollard

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. ~Author Unknown

Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. ~James Matthew Barrie

Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so. ~Douglas Adams

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. ~Author Unknown

Chocolate, men, coffee - some things are better rich. ~Author Unknown

No day is so bad it can't be fixed with a nap. ~Carrie Snow

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. ~Author Unknown

There is no hope for a civilization which starts each day to the sound of an alarm clock. ~Author Unknown

I'm not asleep... but that doesn't mean I'm awake. ~Author Unknown

Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you're sleepy. ~Author Unknown

The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more. ~Wilson Mizener

People who snore always fall asleep first. ~Author Unknown

There are twelve hours in the day, and above fifty in the night. ~Marie de Rabutin-Chantal

The feeling of sleepiness when you are not in bed, and can't get there, is the meanest feeling in the world. ~Edgar Watson Howe

No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in bed when he himself is up. ~Robert Lynd

I'd like mornings better if they started later. ~Author Unknown

Dreams are free, so free your dreams. ~Astrid Alauda

“Quote - Erroneously repeating others words”. Not sure of this one either.

Not everything that can be counted counts and not everything that counts can be counted.
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
-- Albert Einstein

Plagiarists at least have the quality of preservation.
-- Benjamin Disraeli

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
-- Groucho Marx

The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things that ain't so.
-- Mark Twain

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Mark Twain

Dear Sir, Your profession has, as usual, destroyed your brain.
-- George Bernard Shaw

If everything's under control, you're going too slow.
-- Mario Andretti

The nice part of living in a small town is that when I don't know what I'm doing, someone else does.
-- Source Unknown

Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.
-- Antonio Smith

Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probable reason so few engage in it.
-- Henry Ford

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
-- Oscar Wilde

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-- Robert Frost

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.
-- Voltaire

An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less, until eventually he knows everything about nothing.
-- Source Unknown

In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed.
-- Sid Caesar

Vision is the art of seeing things invisible.
-- Jonathan Swift

When a girl ceases to blush, she has lost the most powerful charm of her beauty.
-- Gregory I

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
-- Satchel Paige

I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it?
-- Source Unknown

Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

The road to a friend?s house is never too long.
-- Danish Proverb

Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.
-- Ed Cunningham

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
-- John Leonard

There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends.
-- Mark Twain

I can resist everything except temptation.
-- Oscar Wilde

Be like a postage stamp, stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Sign at a Church

Laughter is an instant vacation.
-- Milton Berle

I just want what I want when I want it!
-- Source Unknown

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
-- Norman MacEswan

How we spend our time is how we spend our life.
-- Source Unknown

The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast us.
-- William James

Approach any task as if it's impossible to fail. If you're going after Moby Dick, take along some tartar sauce.
-- H. Jackson Brown

Before you ask me if the glass is half full or half empty, tell me what is in the glass!
-- Source Unknown

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams

Live in such a way that there will be no regrets when someone else follows in your footsteps.
-- Source Unknown

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for..:-)

"If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are." -- Zen proverb

The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.- Blaise Pascal

I'm a classic example of all humorists — only funny when I'm working.

-Peter Sellers

Great Britain and the United States are nations separated by a common language.

- George Bernard Shaw

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. - Peter Ustinov

The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. 

--Albert Einstein

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other - Eric Hoffer

The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. - H. L. Mencken

Desire is half of life, indifference is half of death. - Kahlil Gibran

The Internet is a great way to get on the Net. - Bob Dole

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss. --Robert A. Heinlein

The nice thing about teamwork is that you always have others on your side. --Margaret Carty

Money was invented so we could know exactly how much we owe. 

Cullen Hightower

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. - Henny Youngman

If you feel like doing some work, sit down and … … wait until that feeling goes away.

Great minds discuss ideas

Average minds discuss events

Small minds discuss people

-- Eleanor Roosevelt Inspirational, Motivational Quotes and Sayings

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.

- Thomas Szasz Funny Short Quotes, Daily Quotes, Short Sayings

I Forgot To Remember To Forget

Love happens only once, rest all is Life

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it

seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an

hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S

relativity.

- Albert Einstein

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working

the moment you get up in the morning and does not

stop until you get into the office.

- Robert Frost

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's

there to appreciate it.

- Franklin P. Jones

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain

the success of those we don't like?

- Jean Cocturan

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win

or lose.

- Darrin Weinberg

Life is pleasant.

Death is peaceful.

It's the transition that's troublesome.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will

remember you when he is

in trouble again.

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand

wrong answers.

It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it

creative problem solving.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know

Where to shop.

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again,

neither does milk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to

Shoot them.

.....SHOOT THE ONE U LONG WANTED TO....WORTH  THE TERM BUD!....YES U!!!

Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

The number of people watching you is directly

proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Don't worry that the world ends today, it's already

Tomorrow in Australia!