Newton's Suicidal Note
After spending so many years in research and discovering(or rediscovering?) new laws I happened to chance upon some wierd stories and photographs of one guy from that mystical country called India that surprised me. My very existence was at stake because his actions knowingly or unknowingly questioned my so called valuable contribution to world of Physics. I was afraid that my King would take away from me the title of Knighthood and send me to gallows. With the help of a friend, I set sail to India to meet this remarkable film artiste(as I came to understand) known as Rajanikanth.
Once, I landed in India I watched a few Tamil movies that this great guy performed. What I saw with my own eyes was beyond belief and set my head spinning. I was convinced that all my logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk. I apologize for misleading the world with my stupid laws.
(Seeing the movies, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid.)
Here are a few scenes that I saw
1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth! (Hooray!! I didn't know that my second law is a life saving recipe!!)
2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.(Whew!! that was too much math. I need to catch up)
3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... the gangster dies... (What happened to my second law now!!? ...err...did I ...no...plssss..)
This was too much for me to take! I was completely shaken and decided to go back. But I happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow MY theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and I am happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!
The 'climax' finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. (I couldn't help smiling since it is virtually impossible?) Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
I don't deserve to be part of this world…….Adieu pals…