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Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Santa Singh an Indian (Punjabi) guy.
Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave.2000 people leave the room. Santa says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'
Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Santa says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.
Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Santa says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.
Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Santa says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.
Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.' Calmly, Santa turns to the other candidate and says 'Hor Phaphe ki haal chaal?.' The other candidate answers ' O Vadiya veere, tu Sunna'
Titanic was sinking.
An Englishman asked Santa, " How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards !
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Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators.
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How did Santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.
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Santa: I have swallowed a Kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too .
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Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****. Santa: U r wrong. It's 1394.
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Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: " I luv u sister ."
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Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.
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Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl .
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A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn't turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
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Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else? .
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An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!
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Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
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Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where.
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Santa and Banta went for a drive.
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!"
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Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously...
Finally, Santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again.
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Why did Santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.
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Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home . The steering, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming , earlier I sat on the back seat.
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Two hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for beer hunting..
They were quite successful in their hunting and got 6 big beers..
The pilot came back, as arranged, to pick them up.
They started loading their lagguage into the plane, including the six beers.
But the pilot objected and he said, "The plane can only take four of your beers, you will have to leave two behind."
They argued with him, the year before they had shot six and the pilot had allowed them to put all aboard.
The plane was the same model and capacity. The pilot finally
permitted them to put all six aboard.
But when they attempted to take off and leave the valley, the little plane could not make it and they crashed into the trees.
Climbing out of the helicopter, one hunter said to the other, "Do you know where we are?"
"I think so," replied the other hunter.
I think this is about the same place where we landed last year!"
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During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."