Good Quotes

Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished.
-- Leslie Nielsen

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
-- Jerome K Jerome (Three Men in a Boat, 1889)

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
-- Robert Frost

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.
-- Robert Frost

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

-- Charles Lamb

The first sign of a nervous breakdown is when you start thinking your work is terribly important.
-- Milo Bloom

It's a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can't eat for eight hours; he can't drink for eight hours; he can't make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.
-- William Faulkner

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
-- Jimmy Durante

The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.
-- Robert Frost

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
-- Will Rogers

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
- Sacha Guitry

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- HL Mencken

Beliefs are what divide people. Doubt unites them.
- Peter Ustinov

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
- Albert Einstein

The point of quotations is that one can use another's words to be insulting.
- Amanda Cross

Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.
- Judith Martin

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep...
- Robert Frost

The years teach much that the days never know.
- Emerson

Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.
- Dave Gardner

We do not see things as they are; we see things as we are.
- Talmud

The best thing about failure is that it keeps you humble.
- Alan Ball, writer of American Beauty

The spirit of Fight belongs to the genius of Life.
- Rabindranath Tagore

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
- Henry David Thoreau

We always love those who admire us, and we do not always love those whom we admire.
- St. Augustine

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
- Steven Wright

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. - Laurence J. Peter

There is something positive in everything. Even a stopped watch is right twice a day.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody is there to appreciate it.

- Franklin P. Jones

Always tell the truth. Even if you have to make it up.

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook. ~Groucho Marx

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. ~Helen Rowland

I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am. ~Joseph Baretti, quoted by James Boswell, 1766, popularly misattributed to Samuel Johnson

Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that's right is to get by, and the only thing that's wrong is to get caught. ~J.C. Watts

Character is much easier kept than recovered. ~Thomas Paine

One does evil enough when one does nothing good. ~German Proverb

Don't try to be different. Just be good. To be good is different enough. ~Arthur Freed

Are right and wrong convertible terms, dependant upon popular opinion? ~William Lloyd Garrison

The right to do something does not mean that doing it is right. ~William Safire

Many of us believe that wrongs aren't wrong if it's done by nice people like ourselves. ~Author Unknown

Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

The great thought, the great concern, the great anxiety of men is to restrict, as much as possible, the limits of their own responsibility. ~Giosué Borsi

Some people have so much respect for their superiors they have none left for themselves. ~Peter McArthur

Begin each day as if it were on purpose

Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. ~Mark Twain

It's all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back. ~Mick Jagger

We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us. ~Author Unknown

Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work. ~John G. Pollard

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. ~Author Unknown

Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. ~James Matthew Barrie

Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so. ~Douglas Adams

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. ~Author Unknown

Chocolate, men, coffee - some things are better rich. ~Author Unknown

No day is so bad it can't be fixed with a nap. ~Carrie Snow

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. ~Author Unknown

There is no hope for a civilization which starts each day to the sound of an alarm clock. ~Author Unknown

I'm not asleep... but that doesn't mean I'm awake. ~Author Unknown

Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you're sleepy. ~Author Unknown

The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more. ~Wilson Mizener

People who snore always fall asleep first. ~Author Unknown

There are twelve hours in the day, and above fifty in the night. ~Marie de Rabutin-Chantal

The feeling of sleepiness when you are not in bed, and can't get there, is the meanest feeling in the world. ~Edgar Watson Howe

No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in bed when he himself is up. ~Robert Lynd

I'd like mornings better if they started later. ~Author Unknown

Dreams are free, so free your dreams. ~Astrid Alauda

“Quote - Erroneously repeating others words”. Not sure of this one either.

Not everything that can be counted counts and not everything that counts can be counted.
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
-- Albert Einstein

Plagiarists at least have the quality of preservation.
-- Benjamin Disraeli

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
-- Groucho Marx

The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things that ain't so.
-- Mark Twain

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Mark Twain

Dear Sir, Your profession has, as usual, destroyed your brain.
-- George Bernard Shaw

If everything's under control, you're going too slow.
-- Mario Andretti

The nice part of living in a small town is that when I don't know what I'm doing, someone else does.
-- Source Unknown

Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.
-- Antonio Smith

Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probable reason so few engage in it.
-- Henry Ford

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
-- Oscar Wilde

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-- Robert Frost

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.
-- Voltaire

An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less, until eventually he knows everything about nothing.
-- Source Unknown

In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed.
-- Sid Caesar

Vision is the art of seeing things invisible.
-- Jonathan Swift

When a girl ceases to blush, she has lost the most powerful charm of her beauty.
-- Gregory I

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
-- Satchel Paige

I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it?
-- Source Unknown

Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

The road to a friend?s house is never too long.
-- Danish Proverb

Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.
-- Ed Cunningham

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
-- John Leonard

There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends.
-- Mark Twain

I can resist everything except temptation.
-- Oscar Wilde

Be like a postage stamp, stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Sign at a Church

Laughter is an instant vacation.
-- Milton Berle

I just want what I want when I want it!
-- Source Unknown

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
-- Norman MacEswan

How we spend our time is how we spend our life.
-- Source Unknown

The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast us.
-- William James

Approach any task as if it's impossible to fail. If you're going after Moby Dick, take along some tartar sauce.
-- H. Jackson Brown

Before you ask me if the glass is half full or half empty, tell me what is in the glass!
-- Source Unknown

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams

Live in such a way that there will be no regrets when someone else follows in your footsteps.
-- Source Unknown

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for..:-)

"If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are." -- Zen proverb

The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.- Blaise Pascal

I'm a classic example of all humorists — only funny when I'm working.

-Peter Sellers

Great Britain and the United States are nations separated by a common language.

- George Bernard Shaw

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. - Peter Ustinov

The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. 

--Albert Einstein

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other - Eric Hoffer

The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. - H. L. Mencken

Desire is half of life, indifference is half of death. - Kahlil Gibran

The Internet is a great way to get on the Net. - Bob Dole

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss. --Robert A. Heinlein

The nice thing about teamwork is that you always have others on your side. --Margaret Carty

Money was invented so we could know exactly how much we owe. 

Cullen Hightower

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. - Henny Youngman

If you feel like doing some work, sit down and … … wait until that feeling goes away.

Great minds discuss ideas

Average minds discuss events

Small minds discuss people

-- Eleanor Roosevelt Inspirational, Motivational Quotes and Sayings

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.

- Thomas Szasz Funny Short Quotes, Daily Quotes, Short Sayings

I Forgot To Remember To Forget

Love happens only once, rest all is Life

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it

seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an

hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S

relativity.

- Albert Einstein

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working

the moment you get up in the morning and does not

stop until you get into the office.

- Robert Frost

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's

there to appreciate it.

- Franklin P. Jones

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain

the success of those we don't like?

- Jean Cocturan

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win

or lose.

- Darrin Weinberg

Life is pleasant.

Death is peaceful.

It's the transition that's troublesome.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will

remember you when he is

in trouble again.

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand

wrong answers.

It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it

creative problem solving.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know

Where to shop.

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again,

neither does milk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to

Shoot them.

.....SHOOT THE ONE U LONG WANTED TO....WORTH  THE TERM BUD!....YES U!!!

Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

The number of people watching you is directly

proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Don't worry that the world ends today, it's already

Tomorrow in Australia!

Quotes on Marriage

By all Means... MARRY!

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him
keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just
can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a
bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What
does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a
restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and
dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the
second one didn't."
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once...
Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have
mine."
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Amazing Facts

1. Look at your zipper. See the initials YKK? It stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the world's largest zipper manufacturer.

2. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
3. A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.
4. 40 percent of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
5. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.

6. On the average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.
7. Chocolate kills dogs! True, chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system. A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog.
8. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
9. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as a medicine.
10. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.
11. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
12. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
13. Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.
14. Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow a film down so you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.
15. The original name for the butterfly was "flutterby"!
16. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand.
17. Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
18. Dentists recommend that a toothbrush be kept at least six feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
19. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
20. The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
21. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than the entire Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
22. Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.
23. Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.
24. The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
25. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that can be typed with only the left hand.
26. To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, ***** your fingers into its eyeballs. It will let you go instantly.
27. A mathematical wonder: 111,111,111 multiplied by 111,111,111 gives the result 12, 345, 678, 987, 654, 321.
28. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
29. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
30. The "pound" (#) key on your keyboard is called an octothorp.
31. The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.
32. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
33. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
34. "Dreamt" is the only word in the English language that ends in "mt".
35. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
36. In Chinese, the KFC slogan "finger lickin' good" comes out as "eat your fingers off".
37. A cockroach can live for 10 days without a head.
39. We shed 40 pounds of skin a lifetime.
40. Yo-Yos were once used as weapons in the Philippines .
41. Coca-Cola can be used as car oil.
42. Mexico City sinks abut 10 inches a year.
43. Brains are more active sleeping than watching TV.
44. Blue is the favorite color of 80 percent of Americans.
45. When a person shakes their head from side to side, he is saying "yes" in Sri Lanka .
46. There are mo re chickens than people in the world.
47. It's against the law in Iceland to have a dog.
48. The thumbnail grows the slowest, and the middle nail grows the fastest.
49. The only word in the English Language with all vowels in reverse order is"subcontinental".
50. There are more telephones than people in Washington , D.C.

1 Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint
Mona Lisa's lips.
2 Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow a film down so you
could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.

3 The original name for the butterfly was "flutterby"!

4 By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in
quicksand.
5 Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the
mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.

6 Dentists recommend that a toothbrush be kept at least six feet away from a
toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

7 The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

8 Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than the entire Nike
factory workers in Malaysia combined.

9 Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.
10 Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked
out of it by her doctor.

# The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
# To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, ***** your fingers into its eyeballs. It will let you go instantly.
# The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
# The "pound" (#) key on your keyboard is called an octothorp.
# The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.
# Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
# The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
# Dreamt" is the only word in the English language that ends in "mt".
# It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
# In Chinese, the KFC slogan "finger lickin' good" comes out as "eat your fingers off".
# A cockroach can live for 10 days without a head.
# We shed 40 pounds of skin a lifetime.
# Yo-Yos were once used as weapons in the Philippines.
# Mexico City sinks abut 10 inches a year.
# Brains are more active sleeping than watching TV.
# Blue is the favorite color of 80 percent of Americans.
# When a person shakes their head from side to side, he is saying "yes" in Sri Lanka.
# There are more chickens than people in the world.
# It's against the law in Iceland to have a dog.
# The thumbnail grows the slowest, and the middle nail grows the fastest.
# There are more telephones than people in Washington, D.C.
# The average four year-old child asks over four hundred questions a day.
# The average person presses the snooze button on their alarm clock three times each morning.
# The three wealthiest families in the world have more assets than the combined wealth of the forty-eight poorest nations.
# The first owner of the Marlboro cigarette Company died of lung cancer.



1. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
2. The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
3. Our eyes remain the same size from birth onward, but our noses and ears never stop growing.
4. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.
5. A person will die from total lack of sleep sooner than from starvation. Death will occur about 10 days without sleep, while starvation takes a few weeks.
6. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
7. The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows.
8. When the moon is directly overhead, you weigh slightly less.
9. Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never telephoned his wife or mother because they were both deaf.
10. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After Weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an axe leaving her mentally retarded.
11. ”I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
12. Colgate faced a big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries because Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."
13. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.
14. "Bookkeeper" is the only word in English language with three consecutive double letters.
15. Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.
16. The sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every Letter in the English language.
17. If the population of China walked past you in single line, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
18. China has more English speakers than the United States.
19. Every human spent about half an hour as a single cell.
20. Each square inch of human skin consists of twenty feet of blood vessels.
21. An average person uses the bathroom 6 times per day.
22. Babies are born with 300 bones, but by adulthood we have only 206 in our bodies.
23. Beards are the fastest growing hairs on the human body. If the average man never trimmed his beard, it would grow to nearly 30 feet long in his lifetime.
24. According to Genesis 1:20-22, the chicken came before the egg.
25. The longest place name still in use is: Taumatawhakatangiha ngaoauauotameteaturi-Pukakpikimaungahoro nukupokaiwhenuak itanatahu - a New Zealand hill.

If you leave Tokyo by plane at 7:00am, you will arrive in Honolulu at approximately 4:30pm the previous day.

2. Scientists in Australia's Parkes Observatory thought they had positive proof of alien life, when they began picking up radio-waves from space. However, after investigation, the radio emissions were traced to a microwave in the building.

3. Wearing headphones for an hour increases the bacteria in your ear 700 times.

4. More than 40,000 parasites and 250 types of bacteria are exchanged during a French kiss.

5. Men can read smaller print than women, but women can hear better.

6. Coca-Cola was originally green.

7. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

8. The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.

9. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

10. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

11. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!

12. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

13. It is impossible to lick your elbow.

14. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

15. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

16. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

17. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

18. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history - Spades - King David, Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts - Charlemagne, Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

19. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321.

20. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

21. Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this? Ans. – Honey.

22. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

23. A snail can sleep for three years.

24. All polar bears are left handed.

25. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

The Statue of Liberty's index finger is eight feet long



Rain has never been recorded in some parts of the Atacama Desert in Chile


A 75 year old person will have slept about 23 years.


A Boeing 747's wing span is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.(the Wright brother's invented the airplane)


There are as many chickens on earth as there are humans.


One type of hummingbird weighs less than a penny


The word "set " has the most number of definitions in the English language;192


Slugs have four noses


Sharks can live up to 100 years


Mosquitos are more attracted to the color blue than any other color.


Kangaroos can't walk backwards


About 75 acres of pizza are eaten in in the U.S. Everyday


The largest recorded snowflake was 15in wide and 8in thick. It fell in Montana in 1887


The tip of a bullwhip moves so fast that the sound it makes is actually a tiny sonic boom.


Former president Bill Clinton only sent 2 emails in his entire 8 year presidency


Koalas and humans are the only animals that have finger prints


There are 200,000,000 insects for every one human


It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery had in it to begin with.


The world's largest Montessori school is in India, with 26,312 students in 2002


Octopus have three hearts


If you ate too many carrots, you'd turn orange


The average person spends two weeks waiting for a traffic light to change.


1 in 2,000,000,000 people will live to be 116 or old


The body has 2-3 million sweat glands


Sperm whales have the biggest brains; 20 lbs


Tiger shark embroyos fight each other in their mother's womb. The survivor is born.


Most cats are left pawed


250 people have fallen off the Leaning Tower of Pisa


A Blue whale's tongue weighs more than an elephant


You use 14 muscles to smile and 43 to frown. Keep Smiling!


Bamboo can grow up to 3 ft in 24 hours


An eyeball weighs about 1 ounce


Bone is five times stronger than steel.