A must read

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty..

He asks one of his new students to stand and.....


Prof:

So you believe in God?


Student:

Absolutely, sir.


Prof

: Is God good?

Student:

Sure.

Prof:

Is God all-powerful?

Student

: Yes.

Prof:

My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him.

Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?

(Student is silent.)

Prof:

You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?

Student:

Yes.

Prof:

Is Satan good?

Student

: No..

Prof:

Where does Satan come from?

Student:

From...God...

Prof:

That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student:

Yes..

Prof:

Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?

Student:

Yes.

Prof:

So who created evil?

(Student does not answer.)

Prof:

Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?

Student:

Yes, sir.

Prof:

So, who created them?

(Student has no answer.)

Prof:

Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you.

Tell me, son...Have you ever

seen God?

Student:

No, sir.

Prof:

Tell us if you have ever heard your God?

Student:

No, sir.

Prof:

Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?

Student:

No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof:

Yet you still believe in Him?

Student:

Yes..

Prof:

According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist.

What do you say to that, son?

Student:

Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof:

Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has..

Student:

Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Prof:

Yes.

Student:

And is there such a thing as cold?

Prof:

Yes.

Student:

No sir. There isn't.

(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student

: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat.

But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go

any further after that.

There is no such thing as cold .. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of

heat

.. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy . Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it .

(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student:

What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Prof:

Yes.. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student :

You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright

light, flashing light....But if

you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In

reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make

darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Prof:

So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student:

Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Prof:

Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student:

Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.

Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof:

If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student:

Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going..)

Student:

Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class is in uproar.)

Student:

Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?

(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student

: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir.

With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent... The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Prof:

I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student:

That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH . That is all that keeps things moving & alive..

NB: I believe you have enjoyed the conversation...and if so...you'll probably want your friends/colleagues to enjoy the same...won't you?....

this is a true story, and the

student was none other than.........


APJ Abdul Kalam, the former president of India

The Result of Intiative

The Result of Intiative


Some years ago, three brothers left the farm to work in the city. They were all hired by the same company at the same pay. Three years later, Jim was being paid $500 a month, Frank was receiving $1,000, but George was now making $1,500.


Their father decided to visit the employer. He listened to the confused father and said, "I will let the boys explain for themselves."


Jim was summoned to the supervisor's office and was told, "Jim, I understand the Far East Importers has just brought in a large transport plane loaded with Japanese import goods. Will you please go over to the airport and get a cargo inventory?"


Three minutes later, Jim returned to the office. "The cargo was one thousand bolts of Japanese silk," Jim reported. "I got the information over the telephone from a member of the crew."


When Jim left, Frank, the $1,000 a month brother, was called. "Frank," said the supervisor, "I wish you'd go out to the airport and get an inventory of the cargo plane which was just brought in by Far East Importers."


An hour later, Frank was back in the office with a list showing that the plane carried 1,000 bolts of Japanese silk, 500 transistor radios, and 1,000 hand painted bamboo trays. George, the $1,500 a month brother, was given identical instructions. Working hours were over when he finally returned.


"The transport plane carried one thousand bolts of Japanese silk," he began. "It was on sale at sixty dollars a bolt, so I took a two-day option on the whole lot.

I have wired a designer in New York offering the silk at seventy-five dollars a bolt. I expect to have the order tomorrow. I also found five hundred transistor radios, which I sold over the telephone at a profit of $2.30 each.

There were a thousand bamboo trays, but they were of poor quality, so I didn't try to do anything with them."



When George left the office, the employer smiled. "You probably noticed," he said, "that Jim doesn't do what he's told, Frank does only what he'd told, but George does without being told."


*********

The future is full of promise for one who shows initiative.

If Columbus had been married ...

Subject: FW: If Columbus had been married ...

If Columbus had been married, he might never have discovered America
because of the following ...

* Where are you going?
* With whom?
* Why?
* How are you going?
* To discover what?
* Why you?
* What do I do, when you are not here?
* Can I come with you ?
* Coming back when?
* Dinner ghar par hi khaoge?
* Mere liye kya laoge?
* It seems you deliberately made this ....
* Don't lie....
* Why r u making such programs
* You seem to be making a lot of such programs
* Why?
* I want to go to my parents place
* I want you to come and leave me
* I don't want to come back....
* I will never come back....
* Why are u not stopping me....
* I don't understand what is this discovery chakker?
* You always do like this.....
* Last time also u did like this....
* Now a day's u always seem to do like this.... [ I loved this one]
* I still don't understand what else is balance to be discovered...

test paper

How to take care of your wife:


In the world, one single rule applies to the men: Make the Woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.


Here is a guide to the point system:


SIMPLE DUTIES

-- You make the bed (+1)
-- You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
-- You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
-- You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
-- In the rain (+8)
-- But return with Beer (-5)
-- You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
-- You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
-- You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
-- You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
-- It's her pet (-10)





SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

-- You stay by her side the entire party (0)
-- You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
-- Named Tina (-4)
-- Tina is a dancer (-10)





HER BIRTHDAY

-- You take her out to dinner (0)
-- You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
-- Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
-- And it's all-you-can- eat night (-3)
-- It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can- eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)





A NIGHT OUT

-- You take her to a movie (+2)
-- You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
-- You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
-- You take her to a movie you like (-2)
-- It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
-- You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)





YOUR PHYSIQUE

-- You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
-- You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
-- You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
-- You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)





ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

-- She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
-- You hesitate in responding (-10)
-- You reply, "Where?" (-35)
-- Any other response (-20)





COMMUNICATION

-- When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned _____expression (0)
-- You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
-- You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
-- She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)